He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
tell me about the fingering
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