I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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