Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
