Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
