He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
