It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
love makes seman taste better
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize