what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
