Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
only if we run a train.
done.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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