My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
either way he was missing a nipple.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
My breasts were aching with rage.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
