Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Alive.
So much puke
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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