Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
