the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Randomize
