I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
