did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
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