It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
