I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
