Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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