Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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