took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Randomize