Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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