Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
