Kareoke will never be a sober sport
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
