life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize