Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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