I hate all girls vehemently.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
May the power of my ass compel you!!
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
