I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
