Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
