At least make sure they are 18
Why
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
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