just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
