yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
