You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
