I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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