I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
