i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
