Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I think I won the penis lottery.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
