WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
