your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
