I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
