I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
