Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
