I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize