Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
When did angry sex become our thing?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Randomize
