I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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