normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
