Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
