Having a random hookup so left but love u
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
