The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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