So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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