I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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