we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
