he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Randomize
