Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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