ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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