Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
