i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
