i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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