What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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