How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Sext me about skeletons
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
