Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
