oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
