Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
