evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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