white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
