I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Randomize
