I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
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