This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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